


Look At Me and Tell Me What You See

by Olicity_SmoakingQueen



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Depression, Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15786012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olicity_SmoakingQueen/pseuds/Olicity_SmoakingQueen
Summary: Felicity hadn’t had a bad life but she also hadn’t had a good life, she’d had her falls, her successes and then she had the downright evil done to her.This is the story of Felicity Smoak and her journey to Oliver QueenWARNING talk of suicidal and rape





	1. Why me?

**Author's Note:**

> I’m planning on this just being a one shot but if you’d like it to become a multi chapter let me know  
> This is based on my life, it wasn’t something I was going to write about but I felt today I needed to write it down and this the best way for me to write it. Apologies if you hate it!

Felicity had worked hard to give herself the life she deserved. When people looked at her they saw a smile, laughter, perseverance, determination and a fighter but that was what she let everyone see, there were only a few people she let see underneath those layers. 

If anyone else knew how she truly felt they wouldn’t understand because you see she was extremely lucky because her mom and dad were still married and very much in love with each other, she had great friends but she still wasn’t happy because this wasn’t the life she thought she’d be living. 

She was nearly 30 and she thought she’d be married by now but she was a fuck up! She was meant to have a career in IT but 5 years ago the unimaginable happened and she lost the use of her legs and arms, she didn’t know what was happening, nothing made sense, she lost who she was and she lost her purpose. It turned out she had something called Functional Neurological Disorder and it meant that sometimes the messages from her brain weren’t fully received so her body wouldn’t always work, stress caused it to get worse and where she was working was toxic with vile people. It was only when she was having a non Epileptic attack where she was unresponsive but could hear everything going on around her that she heard what her colleagues really thought about her. 

She was heartbroken! They hated her, they thought she was mentally deranged and they wanted her to kill herself to put them out of their misery. She ran, well as effectively as she could considering her legs weren’t working well as she couldn’t bend her legs, and left to never return to there, she stopped working with computers because she was scared of the memories! She was in so much pain that she never slept she just existed. Barely. 

She lost her then friends, the friends who she thought she’d have for life, the friends who she thought would be there for her, the friends who she’d been there for no matter what but no one wanted to be friends with sick girl apart from her best friend Iris who told her she didn’t care because she’s always the same person nothings changed, but why couldn’t anyone else see that. She was in a bad place she didn’t know where to go. She turned to food mainly mint choc chip ice cream but she still piled on the weight and could see no way out. She thought this cannot get any worse but she was so wrong. 

 

She met Cooper a few months later and he seemed like a gentleman kind, caring but she was wrong and she realised too late he wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be, that kind caring manner changed when she met him because he quickly had her cornered and he raped her, she was in shock she couldn’t believe what had happened so refused to let herself believe that she had been raped and that she had asked for it and brought it onto herself. 

 

For months after she would have nightmares of being raped again and again and again and sometimes he’d break into her home to rape and murder her, she felt unsafe but yet she didn’t say anything, she didn’t tell anyone not even her best friend or parents she just suffered in silence ashamed at herself, she thought they wouldn’t believe her and be disgusted with her and want nothing more to do with her. 

That was it. She couldn’t cope. She could not do this any longer and no one would miss her would they? She thought she was unworthy, unlovable! So she got a rope tied it to her ceiling and jumped! It was only when she jumped that she decided to fight for her life because the song ‘People Like Us’ by Kelly Clarkson started playing in her head 

HEY YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH  
DON’T LET IT GET THE BEST OF YOU  
YOU’LL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE  
OH, PEOPLE LIKE US WE’VE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER  
KEEP YOU’RE HEAD UP, NOTHING LASTS FOREVER 

The funniest thing happens when your life ends everything becomes clearer, you suddenly realise your purpose but it was too late She was alone and she was about to be no more! She only had one regret. This! She regrets that her parents would find her dead, she regrets they would grieve for her and she regrets that she never told them she loved them one last time.  
She felt a tear slip down her cheek as everything went black.

 

 

 

She woke to see Iris hovering over her with tears in her eyes! Felicity cried and apologised and begged iris not to tell anyone most of all her parents about this. She didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes. The thing was Iris didn’t listen she went straight to Felicity’s parents and told them.  
They weren’t disappointed, they were sad that she felt she couldn’t talk to them, sad that she felt so alone, sad that she felt that was her only choice so they didn’t the only thing that a parent can do on that situation and they hugged her, told her how much they loved her and told her that everything will be ok.  
Yet she still didn’t say anything about her rape but she did start seeing a therapist. 

 

They helped her with coping mechanisms, they helped her realise her potential, helped her become creative, so she started baking, she loved to bake and those cakes she would take to her local nursing home and sit with the people who had no visitors because no one should be alone. 

Over time she found new friends through her volunteering because despite barely being able to walk she still had her bra8n, her sense of humour, her caring nature and her smile. 

A year ago she decided to take action on her weight and mindset after someone told her she would end up in a wheelchair and she decided no more. She found a personal trainer who would empower her and uplift her and give her focus when she felt lost. 

It took her a year but she was in a good place and had lost the weight she put on but not only that because of the positive mindset she gained her mobility back and she was now running, she worked her butt off and she got back into dancing!  
In fact she danced the waltz in front of 200+ people something she never thought would happen but yet it did and she was extremely emotional about it she was strong she got through it all. 

 

Then it changed again! She had nightmares again of him! She remembered his menacing eyes, the way he pushed her, the way he shoved him into her mouth, the weight of him sat on her chest suffocating her, she remembered how he felt, how he smelt, his voice, she remembered everything! 

She started reverting into herself again, feeling hopeless, she didn’t know what to do!  
Yet there was only one thing to do! She built up her courage and made the call “Mom?” She told her everything and her mom sobbed, her mom came to see her and held her as she cried, cried with anger, cried with grief, cried for the life she lost. 

Her mom told her she would support her whatever she decided to do. The thing was she knew to recover and heal she would have to face up to what happened to her and take some action. 

She was scared! But she made the hardest call to the police to tell them and she had to tell them in graphic detail of what happened to her that was the Tuesday on the Wednesday she had two female police officers arrive and she had to explain to them what happened, on the Thursday she had to go into detail of what happened with victims support, on the Friday she had to go into the police station to tell them what happened.  
She was drained, she was exhausted emotionally and mentally, every noise she heard she thought was him coming to kill her, she’d wake up in the night screaming and running into the bathroom having to take a shower to ground herself.  
No one warned her that facing it was going to make her scared to live by herself. No one told her that it would cause her anxiety to become worse, luckily the police supplied her with a new therapist. 

They taught her to build herself a self care box, they taught her tapping techniques. 

Overtime she learnt to deal with it all, what helped was when she got the call that he had been questioned and the CPS would be taking it to court! Finally she would get some form of justice. 

 

A few months later after talking to her therapist she decided to take that leap into the dating world, she joined a dating website, she had some weirdos and she was wary but then one day a profile stood out to her and she started talking to this guy and they decided to meet up. She told Iris about him and told her she would call her when she got home. 

She had decided on Jitters to meet him, somewhere safe, somewhere she knew, somewhere where she felt safe. 

“Excuse me are you felicity?” Asked a deep voice and she looked up into the bluest of eyes “y-y-yes, Felicity Smoak” She Replied “Hi I’m Oliver Queen” he smiled holding out his hand and she shook it whilst smiling.


	2. Rough Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your amazing feedback and support! 
> 
> The first part of this chapter has actually happened to me over the last few weeks. 
> 
> Let me know if you think I should continue.

Felicity had struggled for the last 5 years to see that she was beautiful inside or out, she found it hard to believe that anyone could consider her beautiful considering she was so ruined and damaged by him. 

She sat on her sofa when she set up her online dating page thinking ‘how could anyone love me? Surely I’m too damaged?’ But she had to face those fears and continue because otherwise she’ll just stand still in life barely existing and not living. She’d had a rough few months dealing with guys who acted like they wanted a relationship but all they wanted was sex.

In one week she’d had a potential relationship where they were trying to meet up and he told her he was falling for her then loved her and asked for her to be his girlfriend, she thought everyone would think it was way too fast so spoke to her mom and decided they needed to meet first but Felicity’s head was a mess so she went for a nearly 5K walk to clear her head.   
She got back to her apartment and decided to take the leap, she really liked this guy and he seemed nice and she told him what had happened to her and seemed kind but suddenly now he stopped responding, he told her his mom was taken into hospital but he wouldn’t tell her why, she thought for someone who apparently ‘loved’ her surely he would want to talk to her whilst his mom was in hospital. 2 days later he blocked her. Felicity was angry with him because she let down her walls and he didn’t mean a single thing he said! She was pleased she knew where she stood now and could move on but week got worse when a different guy who found her on twitter contacted her via snapchat to find out the details of her rape for his own pleasure, she was so disgusted, she broke, it felt like she’d been raped all over again.

Her personal trainer who had become a friend told her to stop getting upset over these things and to forgive her rapist other wise she would make the same mistakes, Felicity was confused and hurt it was only when she spoke to people who had been through what she had that she knew that the person she had to forgive was herself and just because she’d been through what she had didn’t mean she didn’t deserve kindness and a chance at love. 

~~~~~~~~~

 

So here she was sitting across from Oliver Queen sipping on a latte and not believing someone like him could find someone like her attractive “Felicity appearances aren’t everything” he said looking into her eyes “oh! I said that out loud didn’t I?” She said blushing and he chuckled “yes you did but it’s ok, so how long have you been single Felicity?” She dreaded that question “ummm 5 years” she said as she cleared her throat “you?” “9 months, how comes it’s been 5 years?” He asked curious “ummm well.... I had some personal issues so I only feel now ready to dip my toe in if you know what I mean?” “Oh sorry to hear that do you mind me asking what?” “I have a Neurological disorder sometimes it affected the use of my legs but I’ve worked hard and now no longer need a wheelchair” she replied “oh wow! That must have been difficult but well done on overcoming it” Felicity blushed “thank you” She said quietly “so Oliver tell me about yourself” 

They spent the next few hours telling each other about themselves and their families and she learnt that his mom and dad were still happily married and that he had a younger sister called Thea and his best friend Tommy was more like a brother to him, She told him about her parents and that she has an older sibling called Davina and a niece who is her world called Allie. She told him that she went to MIT and loves working with computers but has done so for a while since getting poorly so she bakes and he told her how he was now in charge of Queen Consolidated “do you get to see your sister much?” He asked “not much we don’t really get on as she does accept the things that’s have happened in my life” she replied “that’s sad, sounds like there’s a bigger story there, one I hope you’ll tell me one day?” He asked “maybe” she replied. 

“I’ve had a lovely time Felicity” he said, she loved how he said her name “yes I’ve really enjoyed it surprisingly” she smiled at him  
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” He asked tilting his head to the side “nothing” she replied “would you like to go out for dinner?” He smiled at her softly and she looked at him for a few seconds trying to work out if he was just like HIM! but after a few seconds she replied “yes I’d love that” 

They swapped numbers and when they left he gave her a hug which she returned “See you tomorrow Felicity” he smiled at her when they were stood outside Jitters,   
“Yes see you tomorrow Oliver” she replied and walked away and pulled out her phone to ring Iris. 

Iris who had been there for her through everything and had just found out she has Ovarian Cancer, it broke Felicity’s heart that someone so kind and supportive now had this horrid disease but Iris was family she was her sister from another mister and would do anything for her so she was there to support and she decided to raise money by shaving her hair off for her. 

“Hey babe, how did it go?” Asked Iris when she answered the call “Hey sweet, how are you feeling?” Asked Felicity “I’m ok today tired but ok now stop deflecting Lis, how did it go” Felicity laughed as she walked through the door to her apartment “Ok! Ok! You caught me! He was lovely! Really kind, he told me about his family and friends and job” Iris smiled at the smile in Felicity’s voice “sounds promising babe, what’s his name?” She Asked “Oliver Queen” Felicity Replied. 

“What?! As in THE Oliver Queen, piercing eyes, gorgeous smile, CEO of Queen Consolidated Oliver Queen?” Screeched Iris down the phone “Ow! I think I need a new eardrum Iris!” They both laughed “yes that Oliver Queen! So much better looking in real life if that’s possible!” They both giggled “so Lis successful date then?” Asked Iris “I’d say so I’m seeing him tomorrow night!” Felicity grinned “OH MY GOD!” Iris squealed “that’s awesome! You totally deserve to be love Lis” “thanks sweetie! You’ve been such an awesome friend! You know I’m here for you always right?” Asked Felicity “yes I know and I’m here for you!” Iris replied “good because I need you to come shopping with me tomorrow!”

“Totally there! See you at 11” Said Iris “yep perfect speak to you later sweet!” Smiled Felicity “chat later babe” 

Felicity put the phone down thinking maybe just maybe things were about to get better for her. Unbeknownst to her on the other side of town Oliver was talking to Tommy. 

“How did it go man?” Asked Tommy “It went really well! She’s amazing, she’s come through so much and use to work in IT! Plus she is stunning, beautiful!” Replied Oliver “She sounds great, are you going to see her again?” Asked Tommy “yeah I’m seeing her tomorrow night” he replied “wow that soon huh?”   
“Yep! Totally worth it!”   
“What’s her name?” Asked Tommy   
“Felicity Smoak” Oliver replied with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> If you want to see it go in a certain direction let me know on twitter or here. 
> 
> Twitter: MsOlicitySQueen   
> Instagram: Olicity_SmoakingQueen


	3. Secrets...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your feedback!   
> I’ve had an odd week and I’ve felt super emotional today and that’s reflected in today’s chapter. 
> 
> My best friend is going through cancer at the moment and has given me so much support since revealing to everyone what happened to me and going to the police so this is dedicated to her. Thank you sweetie!

‘This is silly’ Felicity thought as she got ready for her date with Oliver, she’d taken two benzos but she was still nervous and could feel her stomach twisting constantly ‘I’ve already met him!’ She thought.

She looked at herself in the mirror and recalled the hell she’d been through when she decided to start dating again, she remembered the guy who seemed perfect and ended up being a scam artist who wanted her to send money she was pissed at that and gave him what for, the guy who was lovely and said he loved her but then blocked, the guy who found her on snapchat and started asking her for her rape details for his pleasure that made her feel like she’d been raped all over again, the guy who had a foot fetish and made her feel completely uncomfortable and then the firefighter who seemed lovely but wouldn’t FaceTime her and turned out to also be catfishing her also so she had decided to give up on internet dating, she only happened to be closing down her account when Oliver messaged her and decided to give him a chance.

She wasn’t sure if she could handle to be let down and was really nervous that he was going to stand her up, that the people that had told her to kill herself were just playing a huge trick on her so that found her sitting looking at herself in the mirror with tears running down her face whispering to herself “why?.”

She picked up her cell and called Iris “Hey Babe! Are you ready for tonight?” Iris asked “I’m so sorry to call you Iris but I’m freaking out! I can’t do this! I know I’ve already met him but what if it’s just a cruel joke?” Felicity cried down the phone “Lis has he done anything to make you think he is pulling a cruel joke?” Asked Iris soothingly “no he hasn’t but what if it’s not real, look at me Iris I’m nothing! I’m not pretty and he’s hot!” Suddenly she recalled what he said last week ‘it’s not all about looks Felicity’ and she gasped “what?! What’s wrong Lis?” And Felicity Laughed “Nothing Iris, it’s just me being me, I will be fine” “are you sure babe? I’m always here you know that right” Iris asked  
“Positive! I will send you a pic once I’m ready” Felicity promised “you better babe!”

Felicity ended the call and started to curl her hair and played the song that reminds her to carry on!

Feeling Broken, barely holding on, but there’s something so strong somewhere inside of me and I am down but I’ll get back up again. Don’t count me out just yet I’ve been brought down to my knees and I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking, but I can take it, I’ll be back, back on my feet, this is far from over, You haven’t seen the last of me.  
You haven’t seen the last of me, They Can say that, I won’t stay around, but I’m gonna stand my ground.  
You’re not gonna stop me, You don’t know me, You don’t know who I am, don’t count me out so fast, I’ve been brought down to my knees, and I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking, But I can take it, I’ll be back, back on my feet, this is far from over, you haven’t seen the last of me, there will be no fade out, This is not the end, I’m down but I’ll be standing tall again, times are hard but I was built tough, I’m gonna show you all what I’m made of and I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking but I can take it, I’ll be back, back on my feet, This is far from over, I am far from over, you haven’t seen the last of me, I’m not going nowhere, I’m staying right here, oh no, you see me begging, I’m not taking my bow, can’t stop me, it’s not the end, you haven’t seen the last of me.

Felicity wiped away her tears feeling so much more empowered and checked her hair was in the Hollywood curls she was working on and then started doing her make up, she decided on a simple cat eye with mascara a small amount of blush and rouge lips using her Blu-Red Lipsense. She’d always had love a more vintage look! She pulled on her figure hugging red dress that showed off enough skin without giving too much away and put on her red peep toe pumps. She looked in her mirror and took a picture and sent it to Iris, she picked up her clutch and left her apartment.  
She reached her car and got in just as she heard her phone go off  
IW: damn babe you look hot! Xx  
FS: thanks sweetie! Xx  
Felicity pulled away from the curb with a chuckle.

  
She pushed open the door to the restaurant and searched for Oliver when a waiter approached her “Miss Smoak?” She startled “Y-Y-Yes” She stammered “Mr Queen is this way” she followed him round the corner and her breath left her when she saw Oliver and a smile spread across his face when he saw her and stood up, she reached the table “Hi” she said softly “Hi Felicity you look beautiful!” He said as he placed a kiss on her cheek and he pulled out her chair and Felicity giggled “what?” Oliver Asked as he pushed her in and she waited until he sat down “a proper gentleman, was starting to think they no longer existed” she smiled and Oliver laughed “I think there’s only a few left Felicity” he replied

“What can I get you both to drink?” Asked the waiter  
“A bottle of your nicest red please” Oliver replied and Felicity added “can I get a glass of elderflower cordial with tonic please”  
Oliver looked at Felicity “I thought you loved red wine” he asked curious “I do! But the 2 benzos I took don’t” she laughed and he smiled.

“Are you that nervous?” He asked “yeah I know it’s silly since we went out yesterday but it’s the first date night since…….” She replied tailing off at the end and she saw Oliver’s brows crease but he didn’t say anything and she was grateful

They ordered their meals and continued to chat over what they love and hate and she told him about her niece and how she would do anything for her and that she’s being there for her best friend Iris who was going through cancer at the moment and currently going through a divorce.

“That’s so sad, you’re a good friend” he said empathetically and she smiled “thank you! She’s been a huge support to me through everything so now it’s my turn to be there for her, I’d do anything for her she’s family even if we’re not blood related”

“Can I ask what happened?” Oliver Asked “ummmm are you sure you’re ready to hear this because if you’re not sure about us I don’t think I should tell you” she replied and she jumped when he reached for her hand and took it in his “Felicity I’ve known you for 3 weeks and we’ve spoken everyday, it felt like I already knew you before I met you yesterday and I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you and I want to know everything about you. Good and bad.” He said genuinely “are you sure you’re not going to run away?” Felicity asked concerned

“I’m positive!” He Replied and Felicity looked around checking no one could hear and she looked down at their hands as she spoke “well 5 years ago was when I last went went on a date which was nice and he walked me back to mine but when we got there it was obvious he was expecting more” she looked up and she could see Oliver’s jaw clenching “Oliver? Are you sure you want me to carry on?” And he nodded “yes continue” he whispered.

“Well I never had the option to say yes or no and the next thing I knew was that was naked and on my bed and he was” she took a breath and gulped “raping me” she breathed out and she felt his hand squeezing hers “Oliver I haven’t been with anyone since because all I can think of is how heavy he was sitting on my chest and despite me shouting no he still ejaculated on my face” she felt a tear fall down her cheek and Oliver stood up and pulled his chair next to hers and pulled her into his arms “I’m so sorry that happened to you Felicity but I’m so proud of you for how far you have come and that you took a chance on me” He said as he rubbed her back

They pulled away and they looked at each other and she felt the need to kiss him, how she wanted to kiss him, she trusted him implicitly and she looked at his lips and he looked at hers and when he could feel her breath fan against his face a phone ran and they jumped back apart.

“Oh gosh! I’m sorry Oliver that’s me!” Felicity said as she pulled her phone out and saw Eddie’s name flash up “what do you want Eddie?” Felicity said as she answered  
“Hello to you too! I was calling you to tell you that Iris has been taken into hospital” he grumbled “what?! Is she ok?! Where are the children?!” She Asked in a panic “Well the stupid bitch collapsed because of the stupid cancer, she was meant to have the kids back now I have to take them to my moms” he moaned “right Eddie! Iris isn’t a stupid bitch, cancer isn’t stupid! The only stupid thing she did was marry you! Look after your children instead of going to get high!” She said and ended the call.

“I’m so sorry Oliver I have to go, Iris has been taken into hospital and I need to be there for her” she said as she stood up.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Oliver asked concerned “no it’s ok, I’ll text you later” she placed a kiss on his cheek “I’m sorry” and she ran out to her car.

 

She reached Iris’s hospital room and rushed in “Iris! Sweetie! Are you ok?!” She asked concerned taking her hand

“Lis! I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to interrupt your date” Iris croaked out feeling completely weak “I haven’t been feeling well all day because of the pain and I ended up being sick and collapsed, turns out I’m dehydrated and that’s why I collapsed, I’m so sorry babe!”  
Felicity squeezed Iris’s hand “hey it’s ok sweet! Oliver understood and actually asked if I wanted him to come me, he heard the call I had with Eddie” she replied  
“Oh god babe I’m so sorry that you had to do with him! Oh gosh where are the kids” Iris said in panic as she started to sit up “Hey!” Felicity pushed her back down “the idiot has taken them to his moms they are safe!” “Ok good”

“Now tell me about your date!” Iris said with a weak smile and Felicity told her that Oliver said he was falling in love with her and Iris squealed at that and that she told Oliver about her being raped and he was super supportive and that they nearly kissed when Eddie called “oh my gosh Lis! I’m sorry I stopped you from kissing but I’m so pleased he was supportive”

Felicity’s phone beeped with a message

OQ: Hey beautiful! How’s Iris? X  
FS: Hey! She ok dehydrated and weak but she’s doing ok! I’m staying with her tonight x

Felicity took a pic of her and Iris and sent it to Oliver

A few seconds later he replied  
OQ: You both look beautiful! Do you need anything? X  
FS: You?..... I’m joking! I’ll speak to you tomorrow x

Felicity giggled as she put her phone away and looked at Iris who had her eyebrows raised “Oliver said you look beautiful” “and?” Asked Iris “and he asked if I needed anything”

 

Felicity woke a few hours later and told Iris she was going to go home and get showered and then go and check on the kids for her.

She got changed into a pink top with jeans and ankle boots and pulled her hair back with her glasses and her trademark pink lipstick called Kiss For A Cause Lipsense.

She headed to Eddie’s moms place and checked on the kids who had made her some pictures and then grabbed something to eat for her and Iris.

She’d been messaging Oliver all morning and she was missing him, she walked into Iris’s hotel room to see her and Oliver chatting and then turned and looked over when she walked in

“Hey babe” said Iris “Hey sweetie” she replied “what’s going on?” She Asked looking between them “well Oliver came to check on me after you told him what happened, he also brought me hot chocolate, and you know how how I feel about hot chocolate!” Iris said and then stage whispered “marry him quick Lis!” And they all laughed.

The doctor walked in with the nurse to run a few tests “we’ll just be outside” Felicity said as she and Oliver left the room.

  
They stood in the middle of the hallway “sorry about last night Oliver” Felicity said as she looked into his eyes “I know I just dumped what happened to me on and run but it’s jus….” Her words were cut off when Oliver’s soft lips gently pressed against hers and he cupped her face as she held onto his arms.

It was a soft kiss that was full of meaning and love and that took their breath away

He slowly pulled away “you don’t need to apologise to me Felicity I love you and I’d do anything for you” He Said reverently

She looked at Oliver “I love you too Oliver, I know it’s fast but it’s true! You make me feel safe! I love you!”

She smiled and he kissed her again with a smile on his face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts
> 
> Twitter: MsOlicitySQueen   
> Instagram: Olicity_SmoakingQueen


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I’m surprised if anyone is still wanting to read this anymore but I’ve had a lot going on and today is the first day that I’ve felt like sitting and writing. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter.

Felicity sat on her corner sofa thinking back on her kiss with Oliver, a smile on her face and teeth tugging on her lower lip. She couldn’t believe her luck with Oliver and she was waiting for the ball to drop that he wasn’t as genuine as he made out to be but she also knew that what she was doing was protecting herself after being lied to so much since she’d started dating. 

Liars she couldn’t stand them, actually no! She despised them, It was one thing lying to yourself but it was another thing lying to those you were supposedly meant to care about.

 

6 MONTHS EARLIER

Felicity was pissed! She thought she’d met a kind and caring guy but she was wrong and because of the fucking idiot she was and how she felt safe with him she slept with him, She doesn’t regret wanting to sleep with him and sleeping with him but she regrets the fact that the dickhead stopped messaging her the next day. If he wasn’t interested he should have just said but he didn’t even have the courtesy to do so…..

“Iris! I can’t believe how fucking stupid I was to sleep with him, I’m so angry with myself that I actually hit myself!!!!’ Felicity cried down the phone “babe! It’s ok it’s on him not you! You’re not stupid!” Iris soothed down the phone   
‘I can’t do this anymore Iris, dating is just not for me! Even the neighbours cats are drawn to me so I’m already the crazy cat lady” Felicity babbled out and Iris laughed “don’t give up babe’

 

4 days later she went from being pissed to downright frothing “UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE” Felicity screamed sh grabbed her phone and opened her msgs and typed ‘you two timing dickhead’ and sent it to him.  
Then she called Iris “you’re not going to fucking believe this’’ Felicity said “what’s going on Lis?” Asked Iris her voice filled with concern “the dickhead was using me to cheat on his girlfriend”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time she didn’t tell anyone about him apart from Iris because she didn’t want to have to tell people that she met another dick who used her, abused her or stood her up.

Her phone beeped   
OQ: Hi beautiful! How are you? I was wondering if you’d like to come over to mine for dinner tonight? X  
FS: Hi Oliver I’m good thank you, pleased that Iris is being looked after.how are you? Yes that would be lovely. What time? X  
OQ: Iris needs to be looked after not have more stress put on her. I’m good because you see theres this woman who I have fallen in love with that makes me smile all day  7pm ok? X  
FS: haha careful you’re starting to sound smushy, btw there’s this guy that I’ve fallen in love with that has me smiling more than I have done in the last 5 years. 7pm is perfect X

 

Felicity stared at her phone thinking ‘is this really happening’ she stood up put on her music and started dancing around her living room screaming with joy “what’s going on?” Felicity spins around to find Iris stood there with a suitcase, Felicity laughed and turned red “I was attempting to dance because I’m happy” “Now this is the Felicity I love! You deserve to be happy babe! Now what has got you so happy, or should I say who?” Replied Iris raising her brows and Felicity blushed.

“Oliver” Felicity Replied “that’s who, I’m going round to his for dinner tonight” “awww that’s amazing I’m so happy for you!” Iris said 

“So Miss Iris do I need to give you a lift home?” Asked Felicity “ummmm no Lis, I was hoping I could stay here for a few days because I can’t afford to stay in a hotel” Replied Iris looking away. 

“Hey, of course you can but why would you need to stay in a hotel in the first place?” Asked Felicity “because Eddie has changed the locks in the house and reported me to be an unfit mother so I have nowhere to go” Iris explained feeling tears fill her eyes.   
Felicity stared at Iris in shock and could feel anger against Eddie bubbling underneath “HE DID WHAT?! HOW FUCKING DARE HIM! I’M GONNA KILL HIM!” Felicity yelled   
“I know! I’m going to fight it, I just need to get medical evidence and I was hoping you would support my claim that I’m a fit mother and I need to find evidence that the house belongs to me and not Eddie, will you help me Lis?” Asked Iris tears streaming down her face 

Felicity ran over to Iris and pulled her into a hug “oh my gosh of course I will! You’re my family I will do anything for you. I will help you any way I can sweetie! I swear I’m gonna kill him!” Felicity was livid! Iris doesn’t deserve any of this. 

 

Felicity’s phone started ring “sorry sweet let me get that” she ran over to the sofa and looked at the screen to see Oliver calling “it’s Oliver, I’m just going to….” Felicity explained as she walked out of the living room and into her bedroom “hey” she answered softly “Hi Felicity! I was just calling because I started to make a Lasagne and then realised that I didn’t know if you like that so thought I’d call you” Oliver replied and Felicity could help but smile at that but then looked at her bedroom door feeling guilty that she’s going out whilst Iris is going through what she’s going through “Oliver I love lasagne but…” Felicity hesitated “Felicity? What’s wrong?” Asked Oliver concerned   
“I can’t come for dinner tonight, Iris is at mine” she replied “Is she ok?” Asked Oliver “not really Oliver, she was discharged from hospital when home to find Eddie has changed the locks on the house and has declared her as an unfit mother so she can’t go near her children, I’m sorry Oliver, I can’t leave her now, I need to help her fight this, I’m really sorry for letting you down” Felicity explained 

“Hey! Hey! Hey! It’s ok! Have you gone to the police about it?” Asked Oliver in a soothing voice “we can’t go to the police Oliver! Eddie is the police” “shit! Ok ok! Right this is what we will do! I’ll continue cooking the lasagne then I’ll bring it over for us to have and we can work out how to fight this dickhead because Iris deserves better” Oliver told Felicity and she sat there in shock “who are you? And what did I do to deserve you?” She Asked herself and she heard Oliver laugh “I said that out loud didn’t I?” “Yep you did, so I’ll be at yours at 7pm, text me your address! Also one other thing before I go Felicity” Oliver said “yes?” Asked Felicity “you’re an amazing friend and I love you” “thank you Oliver, I love you too” Replied Felicity with a smile. 

 

She walked back into the living room “sorry Lis, is Oliver ok?” With a knowing look on her face “yeah he’s coming here for dinner now” “oh babe I’m sorry for ruining your evening” Iris apologised “it’s ok sweetie, Oliver is going to help us fight this” “you’ve got a good one there Lis! I actually overheard your you telling him you love him?” Felicity smiled “yes he told me he loved me the other day and I honestly love him, he’s good for me” 

 

Felicity ran to the front door and opened it to find a smiling Oliver and she flung her arms around him and pressed her lips to his and she could feel him smiling against her lips and she pulled away “Hey” she whispered “hey yourself” Oliver whispered back and they stared at each other until someone coughed behind him “oh sorry Felicity, this is Barry Allen, he offered to help us also, hope you don’t mind?” “No of course not, hi Barry!” Felicity Replied holding out her hand to Barry and let them in to her apartment….

2 HOURS LATER…..

“Ok Iris so I managed to look into Eddie’s claim against you and found that he said you were hitting your children because you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, and as a police detective he said he could no longer keep it to himself so he reported you to the social services and police” “WHAT?!” Iris shouted “I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE HIM” Felicity yelled “Hey it’s ok we will sort this, this is why I spoke to Barry” Oliver said as he rubbed Felicity’s back “Iris I will help you because I know that Eddie is a rogue cop and I know from what Oliver has told me that you were in hospital on the dates that Eddie said you hit your children” Barry said.   
“So what we need to do is get medical evidence that on the dates he said you were with the children you were in hospital and any other supporting claims that you were there”   
“I can vouch for Iris” Felicity said and Oliver agreed “I can also speak on her behalf too”

“Great! So I’m going to head out and work on finding out any other information on Eddie that can help you, Iris I will be in touch” “thank you Barry” Iris replied “I appreciate your help man” Oliver said as Barry opened the front door “it was nice meeting you Felicity” Barry said “you too Barry” Felicity Replied as she closed the door. 

“Guys I’m exhausted so I’m going to head to bed, thank you for everything both of you” Iris said as she hugged Felicity and Oliver and went into the guest room. 

Felicity went into the kitchen to clear up “Are you ok?” Asked Oliver as he stood at the counter in the kitchen watching Felicity as she tidied the kitchen, she sighed “yeah I’m just so angry with Eddie and it’s not fair that Iris is being put through so much, why her? She has such a good heart! She is going through waiting on results from an MRI to check the cancer hasn’t spread and Eddie’s done that” she turned to look at Oliver and he was shocked to see tears in her eyes “Oliver I cant lose her! She’s my family” Felicity sobbed out and Oliver rushed around the counter and took her in his arms and pressed a kiss against her forehead “it’s ok baby, we will get her through this and you won’t lose her” he whispered against her ear. 

Felicity pulled back and looked at Oliver “I love you Oliver” she said looking into his eyes “I love you too Felicity” he replied and pressed his lips to hers and then pulled away to look at her.   
Felicity took Oliver’s hand and walked to her bedroom and closed the door behind them and turned to Oliver.

Felicity smiled shyly at Oliver as he moved closer to her and he put a strand of her hair behind her ear “Are you sure Felicity? He asked. He knew she was vulnerable and as much as he wanted her, he wanted to take his time and show her just how beautiful she was to him. “Yes! I want to be with you” she replied, He stepped closer and gently cupped her face with his hands. His lips brushed across hers and he heard her sigh softly. Taking that as an encouraging sign, he pressed his lips a little harder to hers, and he felt her hands move up and around his neck, tugging him a little closer to her.  
His hands moved slowly to her hips and he let them rest their before he slid them up her sides, his hands dragging her shirt slowly up with them. He paused his hands for a moment and pulled back and looked at her face. Her eyes were soft and slightly blown and he tugged her shirt up and over her head. He pulled her back into his arms and this time when he kissed her it was with a little more passion, a little more heat. She responded beautifully and soon her hands were reaching for his shirt. She pulled it up over his head, and her eyes feasted on his chest. He stood still letting her look at him before he tugged her back to him and kissed her deeper, sensually.  
Felicity shifted on her feet, feeling the kiss between her thighs and she tried not to shiver as his hands moved to the waistband of her pants. “Are you sure?” He asked again “yes” she nodded.  
He opened the button and then tugged down the zipper and pushed her pants down her legs.  
He kneeled in front of her and helped her step out of them before he placed soft kisses to each thigh.   
It made her moan and her hands went into his hair and gripped lightly. Oliver looked up at her with intense heat in his eyes and slowly reached for her panties.   
She nodded at him as he paused and then he slid them slowly down her legs.   
Soon she was naked before him and feeling a little embarrassed she moved her hands to cover the center of her hips.  
Oliver shook his head, “Nuh uh! I don’t ever want you to hide yourself from me Felicity. You are beautiful . Every square inch of you.”   
She let him move her hands and he placed his hands on her legs and moved her forward, his face even with her stomach.   
He kissed the soft skin there around her belly button and she shivered.   
She silently wished he would move his kisses down to where she now had a dull ache and her hands gripped his hair a little tighter.   
Oliver stood and held her gaze as he unbutton his pants and them down with his boxers. She glanced down and her cheeks flushed a bright red as she saw how aroused he was and how big.   
He gently took her hand and guided it to his length and she touched him softly. He tried not to growl at her touch and just gritted his teach, letting her feel him.  
When he couldn’t stand it any longer he walked her back to the bed, and laid her down, before he spread her legs.   
She leaned up on her elbows as he got on his knees tugged her legs to him, his face even with her wet center. She was wet and throbbing by this point and he could smell her arousal and moved forward, his tongue gently stroking her center.   
She fell back on the bed with a whimper as his tongue moved up and down along her slit. He spread her with his fingers and plunged his tongue inside and she cried out bucking her hips. He moved his right hand to hold her hips down and started to pleasure her with his tongue. God he was so good at that!  
His tongue plunged in and out and her moans and whimpers increased and then became louder as he slid two fingers inside of her to work with his tongue. By this point she was going out of her mind and she could feel the tingle of her orgasm building and growing.   
Oliver could feel her getting close to the edge and he pulled his fingers out and started kissing up her hips and over her stomach. He grinned as she tried to move her hips and tug his head back down with her hands, and he scooted her up further on the bed with a wicked grin.  
“Impatient Miss Smoak?”  
She could barely talk, her body primed and needing him desperately and he slid up between her legs, and settled his hips against hers, before he kissed her deeply and slid inside. Feeling her sheathing him, he groaned at how tight she was, and as he felt her hips wiggle, he started to move. He kept his thrust slow and steady and kissed her sweetly, reverently as he moved. His kisses ghosted over her face as he kept his pace but she needed, wanted more.  
His thrusts became deeper, harder as he felt her hands pulling his hips and soon they were moving together quick and hard. She was gasping his name as her body moved toward release again, and he could tell she was close.   
Her tightness and the way she was moving were causing him to teeter toward the edge, and as he felt her release beneath him, he buried his face in her neck and thrust hard and deep coming inside of her with quick short thrusts. Their bodies shook and their kisses turned soft and sweet as they both started to come back down. She held him to her not wanting him to leave her just yet and he held her softly. For her, it had been perfect.

“Thank you” She whispered in his ear and Oliver pulled out of her them both gasping “what for?” Oliver Asked “for being there for me and for going slow. 

Oliver leant down and kissed her.

He lay down on the bed and pulled her to him and they fell asleep feeling content and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Kudos and comments feed my soul!  
> Twitter: MsOlicitySQueen   
> Instagram: Olicity_Smoaking Queen


	5. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! It’s been a while! But I’ve had serious writers block until tonight! So here we go!   
> It’s just a short chapter I’m afraid but I hope you enjoy it.

FLASHBACK  
Why? That’s all I ever ask myself.   
You see I’m methodical I like facts and to know and understand why something has happened and if it doesn’t make sense I chew it over and over and over and over until there is nothing left to chew.

No one knows this about me that I, Felicity Smoak, am broken.

Broken? What does that word really mean? Because I’m not a clock I’m a person but yet I feel broken because I’m not good enough!

You see the smile on my face hides so much! There’s only so much that one person can take.   
5 guys in 3 months have screwed me over and the latest is because I was too poorly with flu to meet up with them and they weren’t willing to wait, like what the actual frack?!

So I gave him what for because that’s not a man that’s a little boy and I’m sorry but I’m all woman so they sure as hell don’t deserve all of me.

Most nights I get 2 hours of sleep because the people I can talk to are all on twitter and in a different time zone! My best friends children are so poorly that I don’t want to worry Iris so who do I talk to, my lovely friends on twitter but I hate being a burden!   
Should I just put them out if their misery? But no I don’t want to because if I do they I’ve lost and my niece will miss me and my parents will miss me.

I am not done fighting.

Felicity sits looking at her phone in shock, she has got the news that her rapist has been caught and will be interviewed “frack!” Things just got completely real!

She jumps when her phone rings “hi mom” she answers “hi sweetheart! How are you feeling?” Felicity text her mom to tell her the news “yeah I’m ok it’s just scary but I need to do this for me” “I am so proud of you Felicity! You are so strong and I love you so much!” “I love you too mom!” Felicity Replied with a smile.

 

 

PRESENT DAY

 

 

  
Felicity woke up with a start after dreaming about her rapist being caught and shouted out and started to panic when she felt arms wrap around her and tried to pull away until she heard “hey hey hey shhhhhh you’re safe” Oliver whispered as pressed a soft kiss in her hair.

“I’m sorry, bad dream” Felicity apologised “it’s ok baby” Oliver replied “I was reliving before I met you, feeling ugly and unlovable”

  
“Hey!” Oliver turned her over to look at her and he could see tears in her eyes “you’re definitely not ugly because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and you’re not unlovable because I’m completely in love with you Felicity Smoak do you understand?” Oliver said and she nodded

“I love you too Oliver Queen”

Oliver leans down and presses a gentle kiss against her lips and Felicity reaches up to run her left hand through his hair as she deepens the kiss as their tongues touch and Oliver strokes her left leg.

Bang! Bang! Bang!   
They pull apart when it sounds like someone is trying to breakdown her front door.

  
“What the frack!” Felicity exclaims as both her and Oliver jump out of bed and pull on some clothes and rush to her front door hearing the banging getting violent.

She could feel Oliver behind her as she opened her front door and Eddie stormed in “WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!” He yelled “she?” Asked Felicity folding her arms and raising her brows “IRIS!” he screamed “HEY! Don’t yell in my place!” Felicity said pointing at Eddie “shut the fuck Up Felicity!” He said as he moved towards her and Oliver put her behind him “Mate you need to calm down otherwise I’m calling the police!” Said Oliver with authority

“I AM THE FUCKING POLICE” Eddie yelled in Oliver’s face “Well then you need to calm down because it won’t help you!” Said Oliver raising his voice.

“Where is the stupid bitch?!” Eddie said seething “I’m not telling you!” Said Felicity.

“Well the stupid bitch has been using Barry Allen to stop my case against her how fucking dare she!” He said with venom “I thought I’d planted enough evidence to have the kids taken away from her!”

“I knew it!” Said Felicity raising her voice and Eddie laughed coldly “of course I did and there’s nothing you or this stupid Barry Allen can do! He will regret getting involved once I’m done with him, Iris will regret getting him involved” he said menacingly   
“Actually I was the one who got Barry involved” Oliver said “WHAT? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Eddie shouted “I’m Oliver Queen Felicity’s boyfriend”

“FELICITY’S WHAT?! SO THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT?!” Eddie screamed as he turned to Felicity “YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH!” neither Felicity or Oliver saw it coming, Eddie punched Felicity “argh!” Felicity screamed and she fell to the floor

“FELICITY!” Oliver shouted in concerned and crouched down “are you ok?” He asked “yes I’m fine” she replied weakly

“You son of a bitch!” Oliver growled and grabbed Eddie and pinned him to the floor “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU’RE ASSAULTING A POLICE OFFICER I WILL DROWN YOU!” Eddie screamed

They all heard running steps “we’ve had a report of disturbance” said a police officer “YES GET THIS GUY OFF OF ME HE ATTACKED ME FOR NO REASON AND I’M A DETECTIVE SO I WANT TO PRESS CHARGES” yelled Eddie

  
“Sir, you need to step up against the door” Said the police officer as he got out his handcuffs

“WAIT!” Yelled Felicity as she stood up “Eddie banged down my door yelled at us both and threatened my friend, his ex wife and then hit me which is why Oliver had him on the ground, he’s also planted fake evidence about his ex wife” she explained.

“YOU’RE LYING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF!” he yelled with a smug smile “actually I do! Because you see I have cameras pointing at my front door and around my living room with sound so it’s all on tape!” She replied

“Excuse me miss?” Asked the police officer “Smoak, Felicity Smoak” She Replied “right Miss Smoak can you show me the videos please.   
“Yes this way” she replied.

2 hours later

Finally Felicity closed her door and turned around to Oliver “hey” she whispered as he approached her “hey are you ok?” He asked softly as he took her in his arms

  
“Yes I am because do you want to know why?” Asked Felicity “because Eddie has been caught out and Iris will now be able to get her kids back and go home” Oliver said with a grin

  
“Well yes but not just that” Replied Felicity “But mainly because you called yourself my boyfriend” she said with a smile “was that ok?” Oliver Asked as felicity wrapped her arms around his neck “yes very much so because I want to call myself your girlfriend and you make me feel so safe, beautiful and loved” she said as she leant up and Oliver closed the distance pressing his lips against hers.

 

  
Felicity felt so lucky to have found Oliver and finally feeling loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Kudos and comments feed my soul!
> 
> Twitter: MsOlicitySQueen   
> Instagram: Olicity_SmoakingQueen

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this and managed to read it all  
> Let me know what you think?  
> Twitter msolicitysqueen


End file.
